It Made Me Love Him More


My hubby took good care of my brother when he used to come home on weekends, (he lived in a group home during the week.) Curtis was a lively, spirited young man who also happened to be deaf, legally blind, developmentally delayed and schizophrenic. Additionally, his speech was extremely hard to understand due to several unsuccessful cleft palate surgeries. I knew what he was saying because I grew up with him, but to most people, his communication was a variety of grunts and mumbles. My kiddos, who also grew up with him around, loved him unconditionally and always managed to communicate in their own ways. Hubby was much more cautious, as he would feel awful if Curtis tried to tell him something that he couldn’t understand. So, hubby did not socialize with Curtis much. Get him snacks, put on his favorite tv shows, wash his clothes…fine. Have a conversation about his wants and needs…not so fine. I had the impression that hubby never really bonded with him, although he was always polite.

Recently we saved up money to purchase our first flat screen tv for the wall, which saw our old, clunky television cabinet tossed to the curb. On the cabinet sat a withered plant, the result of my own brown thumb and inattention. I told hubby to toss it in the garbage. “NO!” he shouted, unexpectedly. I was so surprised at his reaction because he is normally quite soft spoken. Looking closely at him, I could see that his eyes had filled with tears and one had started to trickle down his cheek. When I asked him why, he managed to croak out “Curtis…”, and then he burst into tears. It had been a plant from Curtis’ funeral! I hadn’t even remembered that, (I was in quite a tizzy at the time.) “We can’t throw it out!” he said as he plucked out some of the dry leaves and brought it to the sink for watering. He fluffed it up as best he could and put it in the middle of the dining room table. The next day the plant had a new, larger vase that would let the roots spread out and grow. I saw this as a demonstration that he had, in fact, actually cared about my brother! It made me love my husband even more!

p>For more stories us, please, read my book. Here is a link:

The Apple Tree: Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane


Comments on: "It Made Me Love Him More" (21)

  1. This is a beautiful post.

  2. atimetoshare said:

    What a lovely story!

  3. That’s so beautiful!!

  4. I have read this book and it is an excellent read!

  5. This was touching and just goes to show that the book is seldom like the cover.

  6. Very precious! Your husband just spoke a different love language with Curtis–doing things for him.

  7. Great post! Men often show love in ways that seem foreign to us, or are hard to recognize.

    My mom married my dad because he was a nice guy, and would get her out of an alcoholic home, but she didn’t love him. Three years later, she looked up to see him changing my diaper, and something just hit her. She realized right there, at that moment, that she had fallen in love with him.

  8. So very special – a lovely post. Thank you.

  9. Moving story… I had tears in my yes by the time I finished…

  10. it’s the simplest and sometimes almost unnoticed things that can make you love your partner more. It is a real eye opener. This post made ME love your husband! haha

  11. wonderful post.

  12. I have a brown thumb too! This was such a sweet story. I can relate with your husband. My childhood best friend’s dad has a disease which makes speaking very difficult for him. His family can easily understand him, but I was always terrified when he would speak to me because I couldn’t always decipher what he was saying. When He and his wife attended my wedding ten years ago, I was able to chat briefly with them and my childhood fear was gone. Our photographer snapped a picture of me hugging him, and it’s one of my favorites!

  13. Hey! I nominated you for The One Lovely Blog Award…check out the details here…

  14. Beautiful! I can relate to the story very well. My husband is like yours, unable to communicate across differences, but with a deeply caring person hiding inside his silence.
    As always, your stories are grace for me.

  15. theautismdoodle said:

    Such a lovely share sorry for your lose. That’s how the GIRL and BOY found me from losing someone. I wish you peace

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