Because of limited services to children who are deaf and have psychiatric disabilities in our state, my daughter,  Marie,  has been placed in a residential school out of state.  This has worked out great, as she is educated and has good social relationships during the school week, and is able to come home on the weekends for quality family time.  However, because her school is two hours away, I have been unable to attend any of her after school soccer games. This past weekend she and I went shopping for soccer gear for her to be the goalie…a desire of hers for ages!  Generally speaking, it does not make sense to have a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder be a goalie because her athletic skills are better when running around the field and are not so good for paying attention and waiting for a soccer ball to come her way.  For whatever reason, this child has always wanted to be the goalie, and it appears that her coach agreed to give it a try.  So, for her momentous occasion, I decided to drive up to her school to watch the game.

Marie was thrilled to see me.  In fact, she was so thrilled to see me that she kept looking over and smiling and waving…usually at the same exact moment when a soccer ball would come flying into the net to make a goal for the opposing team.  Try as she might, the reassurance of me being on the sidelines overcame her ability to perform her roll as the goalie…given the assumption that she would have been able to perform the roll in the first place.  I was mortified as the balls kept flying past her, but she kept smiling and signing “Mom!  I”m the goalie!”

I tried not to look at her so she wouldn’t look at me.  What I saw and heard astounded me.  Her team looked like most other soccer teams at schools for the deaf…all sizes and abilities, attempting to be as inclusive as possible.  The opposing team was made up of what looked like 6 foot “jocks”.  I looked at the burly guys and thought “Wow!  They must all really work out at the gym at THEIR school.”  Then I started to listen.  They were cheering each other on.  “Vite!  Vite!” and “Passez-moi!”  My immediate reaction was that I was thrilled I was finally able to put those 5 years of learning the French language to good use, (rather than the more popular Spanish language which should have been my obvious choice!)  Then I realized, they weren’t DEAF, they were FRENCH!  AND they were GREAT soccer players!  Yes, my daughter did let ball after ball through as they scored goals, but the fact of the matter is that no one on her team ever got close enough to their net to even TRY to score a goal.  So yes, my daughter’s team may have lost, but I blame it on the husky, six foot tall, great soccer players from the private French school!


Comments on: "It was MY Fault My Daughter’s Soccer Team Lost" (24)

  1. Well, good on her for trying and for being given goalie position like she wanted!

  2. Just nominated you for a ‘beautiful blogger award’! If you want to take part, go to and no worries if not. Just know that you’re appreciated:-)

    • Thank you. I will check it out. The problem is I am completely technologically disabled…I don’t have a clue how to download stuff to my posts. (Thus the boring visual display of my blog….)

  3. This made me tear up. Beautiful!

  4. That match was a mis-match for sure! Whoever did the selection?

  5. Probably inappropriate but it made me giggle; not deaf they’re french! At least they are outside, in fairly good health with ability to run and play 🙂 But yes, a def mismatch

  6. Wonderful perspective . . . Bien!

  7. I totally understand having a kid who pays more attention to me in the stands, than the sport he is playing! I used to have to leave the gym when my son was wrestling. It’s all good though, I would sneak and watch through the doors!

  8. I have to admit this did make me giggle a little bit!

    It is a truly beautiful story though 🙂

  9. SleepyKnitter said:

    🙂 What a post! I had to giggle about the soccer game logistics, but I teared up over your daughter finally getting to be a goalie.


  10. Lol!!!!!!!!! The fun of the game?

    • Yes, that would be my reaction….just playing for the fun of it. But these Jocks, and Marie’s team, were SERIOUS about it. Every time she missed a ball and let it in, her team would scream at her (in sign language of course!) And at the end of the game, they were all angry at her because they lost. For God’s sake, there was no way in the WORLD they had ANY chance of winning…

  11. This is such a funny story! I just read it to my husband. We could both relate since we both played and our kids played.
    I am glad that your daughter got her chance. Sounds like the team never had a chance!:)

  12. This is such a great story. I would love to do more than just buy a book would you mind emailing me at with your contact info? You are so inspiring. 🙂

  13. HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA… oh man soccer is so hard to enjoy from the sidelines in the first place (I played for years and I love it but my teams were always horrible), then to watch them get creamed by a Private School Team. Ugh.

    I would never choose to be goalie, in my opinion it is the worst position because all the blame can be so easily dumped on you. Well we would have won if you wouldn’t have let the ball get past you. Really? You see this box is huge right?

    That actually speaks to your daughter’s character, she is willing to look the beast in the eye and take it on. That is pretty cool. These are the moments that make up a family. I remember my parents and brother coming to one of my games… we lost so badly the score was never published in the school newspaper. I ran over to say hello to my family after the game and my brother ran onto the field to give me a huge hug, not one of them were disappointed or upset about the loss just genuinely happy that we were all together. I guess we can all appreciate that had fate been just a little off none of us would be where we are.

    Good luck in your journey and keep supporting them the way you are, if you ever feel like you haven’t given enough or done enough, know that the best thing you could ever do, you have already done; by giving them a home, family and hope. 🙂

    • Thank you so much for the kind words.
      You hit the nail on the head…the goalie gets blamed for the loss. That’s why it was so ironic; these little kids who are deaf against these giant jocks, of COURSE they were going to lose. And it was still all her fault!

      • Man that would piss me off, but it might be a good lesson for all the children hearing or not you have to at least try! The wins and losses don’t really matter, it is all about how you guys feel about the game. Just let her know how proud you are of her, and if anyone says anything about the loss being her fault again just tell her to ignore them, that sport seems to promote blame. It sounds to me like she has her wits about her, but you always voicing your support will give her the confidence when it’s lacking. Congratulations to you on having a child that is willing to try!!!

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