As we age, it is common to have a few regrets of things we have or haven’t done along the way. When I was a child, (and traveled cross-country with my family,) I never got out of the car to see the Grand Canyon. Always on the move, I was used to short stops at tourist attractions, the Grand Canyon being no exception. I regret my choice stay in the car because of crabbiness, carsickness, stubbornness or what have you. I simply went back to sleep with a pillow over my head to block out the beautiful colors of the sunset. Also during childhood, I did not have the joy of playing in our ocean state waves. Living on a lake, my parents never felt the need to visit the ocean, and the only ocean I saw was near my public school, Oakland Beach. Nice beach, but not so exciting on the wave front. It wasn’t until I was 16 years old and able to drive with my friends to the beach that I realized RI had waves that were unbelievable! All those youthful waveless years wasted…

I regret never telling my dad of my love for him. As a sensitive child, I misunderstood his detachment from me, seeing it as a sign of my un-worthiness of his love instead of the mental illness he suffered. Only when I aged and he was gone did the truth become clear, and by then it was too late.

I regret the Christmas when I hid 5-year-old Dinora’s Littlest Mermaid bedspread under her bed. Pointing out that Santa had left a gift under her bed, she looked at me in shock and started crying hysterically. Was I telling her a BIG FAT MAN had been in her bedroom when she was sleeping? Seeing how upset she was, I quickly reassured her that really was no Santa Claus, causing an even bigger burst of tears. Strike one against me for prematurely destroying a little girl’s fantasy!

My latest regret came this week. Against the advice of others, an older family friend had chosen to keep her terminally ill husband at home rather than send him to a Hospice nursing home even though his physical care would be a challenge for her own aging body. A month ago I combed through the card store, finally finding the perfect card to express my support for her and to provide encouragement. I was too late in sending it. Her husband passed away this week, relegating my card to join the flow of regular sympathy well wishes, not special at all.

From now on, I will welcome Mother Nature and keep little girl’s dreams alive. People whom I admire will be lavished with praise, and people whom I love will be told, often and heartfelt, that they are loved, the same way I wanted to tell my dad so many years ago.




Comments on: "Regrets…I’ve Had a Few" (14)

  1. Beautiful to have That wake up call while you can ❤️

  2. AdoptiveNYMomma said:

    The important thing is to learn from your mistakes. You can make positive changes going forward to minimize regrets later. Wishing you well

  3. Remmy Meggs said:

    Good thoughts good dreams good love – Remmy

  4. been through some of these moments myself.

  5. I totally share the sentiment and have often made it a point to send people an email or text or call them just to say, I love you!

  6. I have been through moments I regret very much too and admire your resolve of making positive changes.

  7. You are so right! I keep my eyes forward, for hindsight is always a disappointment!

  8. My wife and I are planning a cross-country trip for May, which I suspect I have already discussed in far too much detail on my blog. Ha! Among my goals is crossing off the remaining states on my “unvisited” list. But also I hope to recapture some of the lost opportunities you mention, perhaps my last opportunity to do so. Then again, I can’t blame you for placing a pillow over your head and going back to sleep, Grand Canyon or no. Sometimes we need the privacy of retreating into our own world and asking others to leave us the hell alone, sunset or no. This is perhaps most true in childhood, when we are trapped with people not of our choosing, with no possible escape. I believe I understand where you were coming from.

  9. I think each of us has something big that we regret along and other smaller regrets. I certainly do. I have a lot to reflect on upon reading this post. XX

  10. The card still meant something. Trust me. I was in her shoes

  11. Sadly there are no time machines and hindsight is a wonderful thing. I regret not telling my mother how much I loved her or sitting with her when she died. I guess we should take heed of lessons learned and not make the same mistakes twice.

  12. Ah yes, a cascade of regrets here, too, tho my biggest regret (a disastrous first marriage) did result in my greatest joy (my son). So I guess best is to follow that advice to never stint on the “i love yous,” even if they are imperfect, brief, via email…

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