Sucked Up by a Vacuum


Instead of driving his 1999 work van with the worn tires, Hubby was going to take my car for an out of town trip. Knowing that our cleanliness styles are contrary, I decided to surprise him and clean up my car in the fashion he prefers. (Clean, that is.) After going through the super duper car wash with all the bells and whistles, I emptied out every speck of trash, right down to the McDonald receipts and gum wrappers left by my youngest son. Then, in a daring move, I put 3 quarters into the huge vacuum cleaner to vacuum the floors. While pulling on the hose to reach the front seat, somehow the nozzle grabbed onto the front of the dress I was wearing. Surprised, I pulled the hose up to get it off my dress, but all that did was pull my dress up over my head. Frantic, I put the hose down lower, and it then glommed onto my underwear. Pulling on the hose seemed to increase its strength until my underwear was pulled so tight it felt like a wedgie. Quite the tourist attraction, I was standing in the parking of the car wash with the cars driving by on a very busy road. My dress was up and, with my underwear also clinging to the hose, a loud, piercing scream was coming out of my mouth while I frantically turned in circles and jumped up and down trying to free myself. It was just like being sucked up into a giant vacuum. Oh, wait…I WAS being sucked up into a giant vacuum!

Fortunately, those 3 quarters only paid for 2 minutes, and eventually the hose released its powerful grip. Flinging the hose out of my hand like it was electrically charged, I slinked down into the front seat, hiding.

Oh, well, it was MOSTLY clean for Hubby…


Comments on: "Sucked Up by a Vacuum" (34)

  1. haha! That will teach you not to wear a dress when you go to clean the car. LOL

  2. Oh my goodness that sounds like something that would happen to me! Lol. I’m glad you came out unscathed in the end. Hubby better appreciate all you went through!

  3. OMG, I was laughing so hard with tears streaming down my face that I had to wait to see how the debacle ended. Aren’t you glad you paid for only two minutes of humiliation? But, I’m sure you made some harried driver’s day!

  4. georgiakevin said:

    This is one of your very best posts! Well written and side splitting funny.

  5. I’m laughing so loud, I scared my dogs, and made my hubby run over to see if I’m OK! Oh my gosh, too funny. I’m sorry for your trauma, but thanks for sharing the experience πŸ˜€

  6. Yes! Laughed until I cried. So very real, so very possible for all us klutzes. Re blogging.

  7. Reblogged this on Laughter: Carbonated Grace and commented:
    Here’s your belly laugh for the day! Enjoy.

  8. Just way too funny–and I think the only reason this has not happened to me is that I don’t wear dresses. Seriously.

  9. You are just too gorgeous for words!

  10. You are just too gorgeous for words! Thanks for sharing πŸ˜‰

  11. Haha! sounds like something from a comedy sketch, great stuff

  12. Haha! Poor you. Should have stopped at nearly clean πŸ™‚

  13. OOOOOH NOOO! I’m so sorry! Is it bad to say I’m laughing though? I’m thinking after you were safe and far away from the area, maybe you laughed too???

  14. Oh I’m so sorry that happened to you! But thanks for sharing to give the rest of us a good chuckle! πŸ™‚

  15. That’s hysterical! I hope you didn’t cause any accidents among the passersby. I’m sure your hubby appreciated you putting so much of yourself into getting the car clean for him!

  16. HAHAAAAAAAAAAA! Even the comments are funny. Thanks for the smile πŸ™‚

  17. This post was Awesome! Sorry you had to go through that ordeal, but it does make for a great story! Thanks for sharing!

  18. I’m actually very surprised this has never happened to me as I am an epic klutz. I will learn from you, though, and at least never wear a dress when dealing with monstrous size vacuums:)

  19. This is GREAT! I love your word choice and how visual you were. I really feel like I was watching you struggle trying to be a good wife and then just letting it go πŸ™‚ GREAT POST!

  20. Oh my, best chuckle I’ve had in weeks. My stomach hurts now. πŸ˜€

  21. Oh, my goodness! Too, too funny.

  22. That was hilarious. yhere is probably a moral in that story somewhere but I’m laughing too hard to think of it right now πŸ™‚

  23. Wow and goodness that would be a you tube viral video lol

  24. Hello, just popping in to let you know that I love your blog, also, I just wanted to let you know that I nominated your blog for the Liebster Award, you can check out the details on my blog post here,

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