Like most other adoptive parents, I adopted children because I, selfishly, wanted children. (My theory was if I had children to care for, I really didn’t have a lot of extra time to clean the house. I would rather care for a child than mop the floor…) An adoptive parent should never think their child who is adopted is beholden to them. The child didn’t choose to be born into their circumstances, and they certainly didn’t ask to be adopted. And I have had more than my share of emotionally unstable children, (aren’t all teenagers unstable anyway?) and never expected them to be happy about my choice to adopt them, (or at least not to express that feeling.)

But I was wrong. I went to Marie’s award ceremony at school today. Most parents didn’t go, it was during the day and I’m sure it was hard for them to get off work. It was hard for me to get off work, too, and I will have to work on the weekend to make up for it, but I went because I wanted to support Marie, who had been doing phenomenally in school. Marie didn’t know I was coming, and she was sooooooooo excited! She ran over, gave me a big, wet, on the lips kiss, and put her head on my shoulder while she hugged me tightly. She was genuinely happy to see me, (and not just because she knew I would take her out for ice cream after the ceremony.) She dragged me to all of her friends, and announced to them in American Sign Language something that made my heart stop and tears come to my eyes. She said, “This is my mom. She wasn’t my real mom when she adopted me when I was 7 years old, and at first I didn’t like her, but she made me feel safe and she gave me food and clothes. Now I love her very much and she is my real mom because now I have a happy life and I know I will have a happy future. And someday I will have babies and make her a grandmother!” I am her mom, indeed!

To read about our traumatic early years together, please purchase my book, The Apple Tree: Raising 5 Kids with Disabilities and Remaining Sane on Amazon.


Comments on: "The Words Every Adoptive Mom Longs to Hear…" (33)

  1. Congratulations! πŸ˜ƒ

  2. Reblogged this on BEAUTIFUL WORDS and commented:
    I have read this book and it is wonderful! Well worth the money!

  3. Yocheved said:

    Truly, the most beautiful words any mother could hear!

  4. That is so awesome! πŸ™‚

  5. vrein11 said:

    What a special day for you!! Congratulations!!!!

  6. What a beautiful, wonderful compliment! I’m so thrilled for you!

  7. That is wonderful!

  8. What a special blessing! Thank you for sharing it.:0)

  9. Truly a memorable compliment! What a lovely girl!

  10. *sniff sniff* Such a sweet moment. Thank you for sharing with us.

  11. Very moving and beautiful scene

  12. Awwww, how sweet! You are a great mom to all of your kids. XX

  13. I take my hat off to you. Your kids are fortunate indeed to have you.

  14. Thank you for that smile today!

  15. Truly wonderful, MOM!

  16. Wow! I’m thinking about adopting my grandson. He already lives me and I wonder if I’ll ever hear him say those words.

  17. Sharon Falconer said:

    So beautiful! x

  18. Such a beautiful moment, thank you for sharing it with us! I too maintain that our decision to adopt is a purely a selfish decision, but I do hope one day to have the type of moment you just described! πŸ™‚

  19. Jenna Catherine said:

    How awesome. I have tears in my eyes from reading this! πŸ™‚

  20. Wow… you don’t get any better validation than that! I doubt my non-adopted chidlren would say that!! Well done you.

  21. What a great moment for you. The part about making you a grandmother really spoke to my heart.

  22. Well done, Mom!!! Woof!

  23. Reblogged this on ish ism.

  24. Very lovely. All the hard work pays off at that moment. So precious.

  25. notsoquietmomma said:

    YES!!!!! Those are wonderful words! WHile in the hospital my youngest bonus daughter gave me a card saying something very similar!!!! and how lucky she is to have two moms.

  26. Congratulations! That is huge.

  27. Praise indeed. It’s rare for a child to admit love for a parent to their friends.

  28. Wonderful, wonderful words! You are blessed – and so is Marie.

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