Before you “yell” at me, let me explain; my husband and I went to a buffet the other night and there was a long line for the regular buffet.  I was really hungry, AND I have been on a diet for YEARS, AND it was my birthday, AND did I mention I was very hungry?  As he grabbed a plate to wait in the loooooooooooong regular buffet line, I snuck over to the dessert buffet, perchance to find something healthy I could eat in lieu of waiting in the regular buffet line.  Lo and behold, I found desserts containing all of the major food  groups:

For protein, the custard and pecan pie (eggs and nuts) fit the bill.

The bread pudding counted as a grain.

For fruit, the strawberries with whipped cream and the blueberry cheesecake offered a sufficient amount of fruit, with the whipped cream and cheesecake also fulfilling the dairy requirement.

I had a little more trouble finding two servings of vegetables, but I solved that by choosing two pieces of carrot cake.  (A person’s got to do what a person’s got to do…)

I lined all of the pastries expertly up my arm and 3 fanned out in my hand like a diner waitress.  (Waitressing is a skill one never loses…)  I easily carried my little treasures back to the table, and chowed down. Mmmmmmm……..I hadn’t had desserts in so long it was SUCH a treat!  I savored each morsel, smiling on the inside as well as the outside.  I had managed to finish them all, had the waiter clear the table, and ordered a cup of tea before my husband came back from the regular buffet.  He was fuming at the long wait, and indicated there was a meat slicer who was obviously  new.  She took F O R E V E R to slice the prime rib and turkey and strategically place each piece daintily on each person’s plate. As he sat down, he looked at me, smiling, drinking my cup of tea. He asked “Aren’t you eating?” To which I replied, “I’m just sitting here enjoying my tea.  I think I will join you when you go up for dessert…”


PS.  I would love to come and speak for your group or at your conference.  I would do it for free, but would need the price of travel. For functions in the North East, that would be only gas money.

Link to my book

The Apple Tree: Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane

Link to the Readers Digest review of my book:


Comments on: "I Ate From All the Major Food Groups at the Buffet…the DESSERT Buffet…" (155)

  1. I like the way you think!!! Lol! 🙂

  2. ladyflowersbysusan said:

    Go you! Life is short, eat dessert first. ESPECIALLY on your birthday.

  3. fransiweinstein said:

    Sounds like you had the perfect birthday dinner 🙂

  4. Off to the kitchen now for lunch, wonder what I’ll have Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

  5. thatoldschoolgirl said:

    Happy Late Birthday

    love your way of thinking

  6. Why in the world would I yell at you for such reasonable thinking?

  7. writingthebody said:

    Well it was your birthday….I think a little of what we love does us good….happy birthday!

  8. Ahem… where’s that buffet thing? 🙂

    • For any bloggers out there who are unfamiliar with buffets, just picture a line up of food, LOTS of food, MANY choices of food, and a vast VARIETY of food. You take a plate, and fill your plate to overflowing with way more than you can eat…just so you don’t have to wait in line again to get MORE food…

      • Well, I was just wondering where that buffet is, as the dessert table really seems worth a visit!

      • Most of our American buffets have huge dessert buffets where you can pick one, (or ten) of more than 30 kinds of desserts. Of course, the theory is most people will only take one…

  9. Too bad they didn’t have an exercise mat by the table so you could have done yoga stretching and then take a short nap! Happy belated birthday and God Bless

  10. For once i’d like to try that. Forgo the usual buffet and just smash into the desserts. I’m usually way too full to get a full run at the dessert table. I will keep this in mind. Thank you.

  11. Rock on!!! That’s my kind of birthday meal!!! It drives my mom nuts that I will let Mr. T have dessert first occasionally, but life is meant to be enjoyed! To be lived! I think that you were so very smart to have made the decision not to wait in the LOOOOONNGG line! 🙂 That’s some intelligent thinking there!

  12. Your lucky you could get away with that! Lol!

  13. Ha ha – I like your style!

  14. thehappyhomechoolinghoosierhousewife said:

    You just made my day! A well deserved treat for moms everywhere!

  15. LOOOOVE IT!! You are a tremendously funny woman, among your other obvious talends.

  16. I would have done the same thing!!! You have inspired me 🙂

  17. This was so funny, yet very concise and well written: major reasons to skip the dinner line and go straight to desserts!! Yeah!

  18. Oh, and happy birthday!! Belatedly but wishing you and your family a wonderful “new” year with lots of fun, less headaches and more relaxation than last year’s…I went out with my friend, Anna, and we celebrated her 60th.(last post) Made me feel young!

  19. Life is too short not to stop and enjoy delicious desserts once in a while. Especially since it was your birthday! Each day is a gift and not a given so we need to treat each day like it could be our last. My daughter is a pastry chef and it takes every ounce of willpower not to eat everything she makes. I have learned try a little and savor the moment. Happy Birthday!

  20. First off, that’s yummy! And second, good thinking on your feet! 😀

  21. Life’s short, eat dessert first!

  22. That’s my kind of healthy meal! Thanks for this – that gave me a really good chuckle:-)

  23. Perfect birthday meal for someone who’s been missing their desserts, glad you enjoyed it so much 🙂

  24. is it okay if I join you for dessert?

  25. Haha, I like the way you think.

  26. The perfect perfect meal!

  27. Awesome! 🙂
    Reminds me of Bill Cosby’s stand-up spiel,
    “Chocolate cake for breakfast?!? Well, there’s eggs and milk….”

  28. My grandmother always said “Eat dessert first because you might not have room for it later.”

  29. Sometimes circumstances force us to really make the hard decisions. 😉 Happy birthday!

  30. Good for you!
    You did exactly the thing so many others only dream about doing…and now you have me planning my birthday dinner!

  31. soarewehappynow said:

    You are my kind of lady!

  32. Sounds like the perfect meal to me!

  33. First of all, a very happy birthday to you! Second of all, as if I didn’t think highly enough of you already, this blog solidified your high standing with me! I love desserts and love even more that you had your cake and ate it, too, literally and figuratively. Bravo!

  34. Happy Birthday! Having dessert to celebrate sounds wonderful! You are most appreciated!

  35. Too Funny! Isn’t it so true about being on a diet for years … uggg. So glad you enjoyed every bite of your well balanced birthday “dinner” – Happy Birthday and thanks for making me smile this morning.

  36. Sometimes when you have kids, the only way to even get dessert is to eat it first… in the kitchen… hiding in the corner… hoping none of them walk in LOL!! At least you could sit down and relax with yours:) Happy Birthday and I loved the post!

  37. In my opinion desert IS a food group on its own 🙂 glad you enjoyed.

  38. Well, you were satisfied and felt goood that’s what matters most.
    Happy belated birthday anyway!!!
    More strength to you.
    Your writings are enjoyable

  39. Sounds like an outing right up my alley!

  40. Ahhh…my kinda diet! I love the way you think. Happy birthday!

  41. Bill Cosby had this great comedy sketch in which he went into a dissertation about how chocolate cake makes the perfect breakfast!

  42. A little late, but Hau’oli La Hanau…happy birthday from Hawai’i. I’m still laughing at your post. You are my favorite blogger! And, I certainly like your style. Hey, works for me!

  43. Good for you! And I hope you enjoyed your birthday 🙂

  44. You reminded me of a square dance caller and wife who always started at the dessert table at any potluck. I’ll tell them about your post the next time I see them. They’ll love your rationale! I can just see one poking the other and saying, “See, I told you it was smart.”

  45. And did you go back with your husband, after he’d eaten his “regular” meal? I do hope you did, and tried all the other things you didn’t have the first time – after all, you’d had your quota of major food groups 😀

  46. I think you should be my dietician.

  47. That’s so awesome! I do that all the time with ice cream, it a protein.

  48. strawberryquicksand said:

    Happy birthday!~Sounds like an AWESOME feast!!!!

  49. It was your birthday, I hope you enjoyed every bite! I had red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting for lunch and I definitely convinced myself that the frosting fell into one of the main food groups.

  50. MommyStuffandKids said:

    Oh, thank God for this. Been feeling the guilt the whole day as I have wolfed down 2 Oh Henry’s in one sitting. Btw, they’re nuts! Right?

  51. SO funny, and might I add what a witty writer you are!

  52. Was there any pumpkin pie? That could fit three food groups, especially the Libby recipe (eggs, evaporated milk, and pumpkin – a vegetable). We often have pie for breakfast after the holidays. After all, there is usually a fruit or a vegetable somewhere within. And sometimes cake for breakfast (what is the difference between that and a donut?). Congratulations on a wonderful birthday, and a good solution to a long line. 🙂

    • Don’t want to be a spoil-sport – but PUMPKIN is a … now, hold your breath – a berry. Botanically seen. So it IS fruit, too. While strawberries are nut fruits .. The little yellow dots, that are so crunchy out? THAT are the nuts.
      So, if NATURE does not know food groups – why should we pay attention? Let’s just ENJOY our food.

      • Oh! I learned something new today!

      • Would not be able to prove that without Wikipedia:
        In botanical language, a berry is a simple fruit having seeds and pulp produced from a single ovary; the ovary can be inferior or superior.

        Examples of botanical berries include:
        BANANAS and PUMPKIN – TOMATO and other species of the family Solanaceae
        (not a surprise, after Pumpkin was included, was it?)
        AVOCADO (Persea americana) a one-seeded berry

        COFFEE berries (you thought those were beans, didn’t you, but what we all beans are the seeds, the berry is the whole big bundle)
        I am not a biologist – but this is fine pub-quiz-knowledge worth remembering. 😉

      • Cool! Does that mean if I drink coffee I am drinking fruit juice?

      • Hm … now you got me thinking. I remember my grannie cooking elderberry juice by cooking up the whole berries. Not only seeds. And it is not what you squeeze out of the seeds – but what you get, when you dry the seeds of the berry and grind them and boil that powder.
        Anyone a nutritionist? I’d say, no, not really fruit juice. Strictly speaking.

  53. I would have been right next to you, girl. Wish I was there!

  54. Wait, does that mean one is NOT supposed to do such a thing on their birthday, cause I totally do! 😉 Glad you had a lovely dinner out with the hubby for your birthday! 😀

  55. That’s kind of mean! Im over here suffering on my wheat/gluten/alcohol/caffine/diary/soy free elimination diet and youre busy chowing down on my favorite foods!!! 😦

  56. You’re such a health-monster. You should let your hair down every once in a while.

  57. Sometimes we all need dinner from the dessert buffet 😉

  58. I think you mentally absolved yourself since you ate your protein and your grain and your fruits and even managed the vegetable. Having desserts for dinner is so much like a dream. You lucky lucky lucky!

  59. Made me smile and laugh. Thanks.

  60. I’ve always wanted to do that!!!

  61. Lol! So funny!

  62. Happy belated birthday! And I love your reasoning! LOL.

  63. As someone who is terminally food challenged, I find the buffet the #1 enemy, followed closely by the dreaded ‘menu’. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed your birthday! Oh btw, what did you have for your 2nd course?

  64. happiest birthday – that sounds like dinner that’s right up my alley! perfect, except you were missing the ice cream! and, has your blog exploded (in a good way?) i’ve never seen so many likes – i think, anywhere. 🙂 good for you.

  65. Happy Birthday! Thank you for the delightful chuckle inducing post! 🙂

    Blessings ~ Wendy

  66. Hahaha… 2 pieces of carrot cake for 2 servings. Simple math is the best math. This post was a lot of fun. 🙂

  67. worldofamummy said:

    Oh my word! That sounds heavenly! I’m on a diet at the mo but think that on birthdays cake has no calories (little known fact!)

  68. This is just stinkin’ funny! I am reading comments of a birthday~! Hope it was grand!

  69. Sounds DELICIOUS!!! 🙂

  70. Good grief, you’re just like ME!

  71. 🙂 …. okay, so first of all … it was your BIRTHDAY … so no one is allowed to yell at you … and second of all …. how was the carrot cake?? 😀 …..

    Belated Happy Birthday …

  72. Sounds great, but for me I’d skip dessert too and hit the cheeseboard, and I mean HIT the cheeseboard. Until the cheese sweats arrived…nom nom nom 🙂

  73. Hilarious! I think we have to cave into those food cravings otherwise — what’s the point?


  74. Tee hee. Love it.

  75. It’s so true, the skills one learns when waitressing never go away! Carrying 3 full glasses in one hand is still my coolest (actually, only) party trick.

  76. Good for you, its sounds fun and delicious, Happy belated Bday!

  77. Sounds like a happy birthday! Good for you. This dieting is such a lifelong habit, isn’t it?

  78. Sounds like a good birthday dinner to me!!

  79. Sounds perfect!

  80. A dessert buffet. Perfect. The only thing that could be better is a McDonald’s buffet! Sorry to say – I’m dead serious about that. No wonder my cholesterol levels are seeping out of my ears….

  81. I love your sense of humor. I can relate to the way you celebrated your birthday as I also have a sweet tooth. I am looking forward to reading some of your other blogs.

  82. I truly enjoyed reading your blog. In fact I had to giggle because I have done the same exact thing. I think everyone should have that outlook on dessert. Dessert can be good for you…..;) Thank you for sharing your experience I really enjoyed reading about it.

  83. “Let them eat cake!”….and icecream, and pie, and brownies 😉
    I love dessert but when I go to a buffet I’m always to full to have any, so kudos to you for giving me a solution to my very serious problem!

  84. I do this all the time trying to fit it into all food groups..
    I didn’t realize you wrote a book as well. If it’s alright with you, maybe I could pick your brain on how do it. I have always wanted to write a book I guess I have been overwhelmed by the idea doing it.

  85. Sounds heavenly! I look forward to reading more about your family.

  86. greenstuff2013 said:

    this made me giggle 🙂 glad you had a good time, enjoyed your post.

  87. Hey just wanted to let you know we nominated your blog for an award. It is a pretty neat idea. Love your blog

    • I really appreciate the award nomination, but I have all I can do to get out one post a week. I am unable to fulfill the requirements of the award. However, thanks for the thought!

  88. Yell at you? No way. I respect your creativity and like the positive way you view this. Now, please get me a piece of carrot cake. I want to eat from all the good groups too.

  89. Not to mention that the vegetables in the carrot cake cancelled the calories in the icing and whipped cream! Hey, life’s uncertain–eat dessert first (at least once in your life)! Happy Birthday!

  90. Why not, sounds pretty healthy to me!

  91. godanalytics said:

    Happy Birthday! We have 5 April Bdays in our house. Food is such a double edged sword. Glad you enjoyed! 🙂

  92. If you ever need a sidekick at the dessert buffet, please consider me a worthy candidate (as my girth will attest). Love the post!

  93. PHA HA HA! LOVE it!

  94. Perfect dining! Back when I was in massage school, we learned that when we eat dessert first, and then the meal our bodies actually process it all better! 🙂 Way to go!

  95. Now you have me wanting every single dessert you mentioned! What a delicious dinner!!!

  96. That was a great post! I just loved it! Ha.

    Visiting by way of Lisha’s Super Sweet Blogger Award …

    Thanks, Jenn

  97. Awesome!!!
    This made my day! 😉

  98. Sounds great to me! You at least have paid the price and that’s one-off, for me, that’s just normal behaviour- eat what I like first and eat what I must later! LOL!

  99. I hope that you don’t mind but I nominated you for a Liebster Award. I can see that you have a lot on your plate (no pun intended)

    • Ha! Ha! I did have a lot on my plate.
      Thank you for the award nomination, but I am afraid that I am unable to complete the written requirements to accept it. I do appreciate the thought, though.

  100. That’s the way to do it! I’d totally have done that if I were in that situation. 🙂 Go you!

  101. What an awesome idea! I will have to try that next time we go to a buffet …. maybe even if the regular line isn’t too long 😉

  102. Absolutely! well balanced means a cookie in each hand! very funny piece.

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